Insert Your Concern Directly Into Your Ass

Just a little friendly banter in the check-out line:

The woman in front of me was surveying my grocery cart filled with $350 worth of stuff.

Lady: “I hope you’ve got coupons for all that!”

Me: “No- I’m not smart enough to figure out the coupon game.”

Lady: “What’s all this for?”

Me: “My family.”

Lady: “My word! Will this last you several weeks?”

Me: “No- this will last most of the week but then I’ll have to come back to pick up a few things that we’re sure to run out of.”

Lady: “You have a bunch of kids?”

Me: “Yes, M’am- we have six kids.”

Lady (clutching her chest): “Good heavens! And you’re pregnant again?!”

Me: “I am!”

Lady: “Well haven’t you learned what causes that by now?”

Me: “I’m guessing it’s because we have a lot of sex and don’t use birth control. Am I right?”

Lady: “Well, yes, I suppose you know. I just hope you can afford them all.”

Seriously, guys, she said “I hope you can afford them all.”

What I WANTED to say is “You can take that douche you’re buying and your opinion and stick them both right up your ass you rude, presumptuous twit.”

But I’m a lady and said “We get along okay. Thank you, though.”

Sheesh. Balls much?

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14 thoughts on “Insert Your Concern Directly Into Your Ass

  1. We had 10 kids in my family. I’m 2nd oldest and the youngest was born when I was 17. My little brother and sister went everywhere with us. My FAVORITE experience was the crotchity old hag that walked up and chastized me for being a “baby having babies” and asked if I knew how to keep my legs closed.

    Next time go with your intuition – people need to shut their damn mouths. Ladies can remind others of their impetuous questions – it’s kinda like spinich in your teeth. No one wants that, but sometimes you just don’t realize you’re being fucking offensive.

  2. Yep…I’ve had similar conversations with people and we only have four kids. Poor things, I feel bad they are so unhappy in their lives. You know she’s not having half as much sex as you….so feel sorry for her 😉

  3. adolescentgeezer

    One could politely express the sincere hope that she has, in fact, indulged in very little sex–and that preferably alone or employing multiple birth control techniques if shared–so that she has no progeny for which to be a role model!

  4. wow…..some people have a lot of nerve! you should have “accidentally” hit her with your cart while moving up in line!

  5. I would have lamented how damn expensive all the little monsters are and asked for her coupons.

  6. Haven’t you learned what causes that? My least favorite line- and we ‘only’ have 5 lil kids. Love your blog!!

  7. That’s appalling. Just…wow.

  8. Wow, she crossed the line with her coupon comment. You sure are a nicer person than I.

  9. So what I think is funny is how people assume parents should pay for their kids’ college education.. (how can you send them all to college?). Um I am not paying all of one kid’s education, let alone 6. Where did that come from in society? I paid my own way through school. It’s called a JOB and a public university, people. Besides, people just need to lay the F off and not comment about anything related to money. Anyways that is my little rant. I look forward to reading more of your blog. Keep doing what you’re doing!

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