Have you guys heard about the ‘4 gift Christmas’? It’s where you get your kids only 4 gifts apiece: something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read.
I’ve been so stressed the past few Christmas’ trying to keep everything equal among 6 children that last December 26th, I informed the kids that we’d be having a ‘4 gift Christmas’ this year.
They weren’t listening, of course, so, in hopes of avoiding Christmas morning disappointment, I’ve reminded them of this little tweak a few times over the past couple of weeks.
Me: “Hey, guys, don’t forget that we’re changing Christmas a little bit this year. Santa is sticking to the ‘4 gift’ rule.”
Kids (all at once): “What!? What are you talking about about? I’ve never heard of this? Why 4 gifts? Why does Santa hate us?”
Me: “I mentioned it last Christmas and a couple of times through the year….you each get 4 gifts from Santa.”
Jules: “Wait, wait, wait….what now?”
Me: “Yeah- something you want, need, wear, read. That’s it.”
Jules: “This sounds like some kinda Dr. Seuss BS to me…”
Her response inspired a little Dr. Seuss- influenced prose:
“Only 4 gifts are mine.
likely you’ll say.
I gave you a heads up-
Santa don’t play.
We’ll watch you open presents
Dad and I, we two
and we’ll listen to you say
“You guys don’t have a clue.”
And I’ll think ‘She can suck it-
what attitude is this?’
Then I’ll take your stuff back
and buy me some shit.”
I’ve had my eye on a wool coat at J.Crew…looks like I might get it after all.