A Non-Murderous Love Like No Other

I woke in the middle of the night to Garrett, sitting up on an elbow, holding one of my nostrils closed.

Me (batting wildly in the dark): “What the….hell are you doing?!”

Garrett: “You were squeaking.”

Me: “Squeaking? What?”

Garrett: “Your nose must be all dry or something. Every time you breathed in it sounded like the bathroom door handle was turning and it woke me up so I tried to close your nostril to make it stop.”

Me: “Freak! Why didn’t you just wake me up and tell me I was squeaking? I thought you were trying to murder me.”

Garrett: “I would’ve pinched both of your nostrils together and covered your mouth if I’d wanted to kill you. I just want the squeaking to stop. It worked!”

Me: “Awwww. Thanks for not murdering me.”

Garrett: “Are you kidding me? I can’t take care of all these kids by myself.”

Me:”Uhhhhhh….and because you love me?”

Garrett: “Right. Yes.”

And that’s how I know he loves me. I mean, true, I had to remind him that he does but also because he only closed one nostril. It was a potential suffocation that he didn’t finish…because he loves me.

I hope all of you have a non-murderous love like that.


Restraint + Love= Successful marriage and waking in the morning.

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3 thoughts on “A Non-Murderous Love Like No Other

  1. Mmm. Non-murderous love. How can you top that?! 🙂

  2. Okay. I just found you on scary mommy and you are HILARIOUS. I will be back. Promise.

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