Bad Move, Kid

Leo and I were watching something or other on t.v. last night.

A commercial came on and the couple on the screen started kissing.

Leo: “Wait- are they, like, married?”

Me: “I don’t know, buddy. Do you think you’ll get married someday?”

Leo: “Yeah- I guess so.”

Me: “What do you suppose they’ll look like?”

Leo: “It’ll be girl and she’ll have long brown hair and brown eyes.”

Me: “Awwww-that sounds like me!”

Leo: “She’s gonna look a little bit like you except she’ll be funny and play Minecraft with me…and she won’t be a little bit chubby like you are.”

Me: “Nice.”

Leo: “Did that hurt your feelings?”

Me: “No, it’s okay.”

Leo: “Can I have a bowl of ice cream?”

He said ‘ice cream’ but I heard ‘a bowl of plain-ass yogurt’ because that’s what passive-aggressively happens when you call your Mom unfunny and chubby.

She might also ‘forget’ to pack your gummy bears in your lunch box the next day.

Oh snap. Who’s not funny now, kid

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