In Mass yesterday, Leo was extra squirmy. We spent most of the service reminding him to stop fidgeting, stop kicking the pew in front of us, sit down, stand up, kneel, stand up, kneel, sit down, say his prayers, make the Sign of the Cross, etc.
At one point, we are given to opportunity to silently pray for intentions of others or those on our prayer list. That’s when I looked down to find Leo with his hands folded and his eyes squeezed tightly together. He peaked at me, saw me watching him and then squeezed his eyes shut again.
A few minutes later, he turned to me and Garrett and said in a non-whispered voice “Did you guys see me praying so hard?”
Me: “I did, yes. Thank you for praying.”
Leo (loudly): “Do you want to know what I was praying for?”
Me: “Please stop talking. You can tell me about it after Mass.”
Leo (even louder): “A jet pack. I was praying that Jesus would give me a jet pack, like, right now.”
Garrett (having reached his limit, snapped his fingers twice and motioned for Leo to zip it): “Hey, Buck Rogers, stop talking, turn around and pay attention.”
Leo followed his Dad’s instructions but within a few seconds tugged on my dress. I leaned down to hear what he had to say…
Leo (scowling at Garrett): “Dad shouldn’t cuss in church. I bet Jesus is going to be mad at him. And who is ‘Roger’ anyway?”
You’ll need to replace the ‘B’ in Buck with an ‘F’ to understand what Leo thought he heard.If you’re a younger reader, you might need to Google Buck Rogers.
Leo seemed utterly disappointed when Jesus wasn’t waiting at the bottom of the steps with a jet pack after church. Blaming it all on his perceived sins of his Father.
“I bet I woulda gotten it if Dad hadn’t dropped the ‘F bomb’ and called me Roger. The jet pack needs to come to me, Leo, not Roger. Who the heck is Roger?”
And that’s when we talked about praying for the sick and the poor and not for extravagant personal rocket transporters. And that’s also when he told me to Buck off- he wants that jet pack. Screw this Roger guy- whoever he is.