I Don’t Recall Asking You

Yesterday was Mia’s birthday which, she feels, should be a national holiday. When I informed her that I don’t have that much pull with Obama, she conjured up her best “How could you?” expression and asked if I would instead bring her a special, massive cupcake from a local bakery.

While at the cupcake shop, a worker and I struck up a conversation. Another customer chimed in and here’s how it went…

Worker: “Is this for a birthday? I can include a candle…”

Me: “It is, but that’s okay. I’m taking it to her school so they probably wouldn’t want me to light a candle there.”

Worker: “Do you have just one daughter?”

Me: “No, we have six kids, actually. Four girls and two boys.”

Worker: “Wait- are you that writer? I thought I recognized you. I read your column.”

She looked at the other customer (who she seemed to know) and said “Have you ever read her column? What’s it called again?”

Me: “The Woodchips.”

Worker: “Yeah, ‘The Woodchips’. She’s got six kids- you should read it!”

Other customer (half laughing): “Six kids! Sounds like you should be reading about birth control instead of writing about all them kids!”

Now, I wanted to say “Yeah? When I ask you to pay for my children’s healthcare and help us raise them, then you can have an opinion on the size of my family, bitch.”

But I’m a lady and instead replied “Well, we thought the world could use a little more awesome so, you’re welcome.”

She tried to back pedal and said “No, I mean, I think it’s great! I was just joking.”

The Worker looked at her and said “You can’t manage your one kid, what are you even talking about?”

Other customer: “Haha- you’re right! I guess I should keep my mouth shut.”

You guessed right, ya twit.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s