No One Cares About Your Dreams

I know this is going to sound mean, but listening to our kids tell me about the dreams they had the night before is mind numbing. I hear them, I do. I smile and nod and gasp at all of the nonsensical details.

Still, though when they come to me in the morning and say “You wanna hear about my dream last night?” If I were to be honest, my response would be “I’d rather chew broken glass, sweetheart.

My friend Pete Redmond once said “Unless you’re Martin Luther King, Jr., no one cares about your dreams.” That is the bitter truth, guys. Once you turn 9 or so, you should stop telling people about the dream you had last night…unless it was about someone’s impending death by a lightening strike or something.Then maybe mention it- you’d feel really bad if you didn’t and then they died while sitting on a metal bench enjoying their tuna sandwich and a storm rolled in. So, mention death dreams, I guess.

Mia came downstairs this morning and, just like every other morning, wanted to tell me about her dream.

Mia: “It was hilarious! I dreamed that you got off the treadmill and this young guy was leaning against a wall and he said “Hey- I like your boobs.” But then it turned sad because you thought he was hot and you decided that you wanted to marry him a little bit more than Daddy. Him and Daddy got in a fight and Dad just said “Whatever, I’m tired. You can have her.” Isn’t that so funny?”

Me: “Yeah…that’s funny! The part where Dad just gave up is my favorite part.”

Mia: “No, the funny part is that no guy would say “I like your boobs”. I mean, they wouldn’t say it to YOU because yours are, like, you know, so tiny and all.”

Garrett: “No, the funny part is that Mom was ever on a treadmill.”

Mia will be 9 in a matter of days and will be prohibited from talking about her dreams from then on. Unless it’s about one of us being mauled or me getting a book deal or something- then I’m all ears.


4 thoughts on “No One Cares About Your Dreams

  1. As I’ve been reading through your blog, it’s amazing how much your Mia is like my youngest, Aislin. She’s the one that needs the most attention, yet she then gets shy with too much. She too thinks her birthday is worthy of a national holiday, though her’s actually is since it’s on Christmas day (she’ll be 7). She also is oddly boob obsessed, so this post just took the cake with the similarities of these too. Funny story from fairly recently…. I noticed that my 9yr old is starting to develop and I mentioned it to her with both of them in the room. Aislin was more excited than Julia so I asked why she was so excited? It’s not like they were her boobs. She responded “So I can hold them up!” I just shook my head, I have no clue where she gets this stuff.

    • So funny! I just assume she’ll eventually outgrow her need to be #1. Either that she’ll be the CEO of Apple someday 🙂
      Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment. I’m glad to have you here.

  2. It is 3:42 in the morning and I’ve read about a dozen of your postings. You’ve made me laugh so hard there are tears and snot running down my face. My kids are 21 & 23 and I miss them at your kid’s ages. Thanks for the laughs and memories brought up by your stories.

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