*Warning: salty language*
It’s awesome when people let their emotions get the best of them and, no matter where they are, have to express what they’re going through. I always consider it a gift from our Lord when I’m allowed to witness it.
I was in the check out lane at Hell Mart when, in the middle of my transaction, the cashier stationed at the lane next to me turned off her light and walked over to talk to the woman whose lane I was in. They picked up right where they’d apparently left off in an earlier conversation.
Now, I don’t know who Kevin is but it seems that he is quite the Casanova and enjoys the company of a variety of women. At least one of those women is skinny. And ‘ratchet’. And, if all goes according to my cashier’s plan, will soon have her cell phone stuck up her skinny, ratchet ass if she texts Kevin at 3:00am again looking to hook up.
I know this because when the other cashier walked over to my cashier, she said “So what you gon’ do?”
My cashier: “What you mean ‘What I’m gon do?’ Imma tell his triflin’ ass I know what’s up. Imma say “You let that skinny ass, ratchet ass bitch text you again and when she do, you tell her Imma roll up at her house to shove that phone up her skinny, chickenhead ratchet ass.”
Other cashier: “Okay?”
My cashier: “Then Imma tell Kevin he step out again and Imma burn all his shit in his Mama’s driveway.”
My cashier handing me my receipt: “Have a good day, M’am and thank you for shopping at WalMart.”
Me: “Can I just stay and hang out with y’all for a while? I want to hear how this ends…”
Cashier (laughing): “You so silly. It’s gon’ end with me not being played, I can tell you that.”
It was the most entertaining shopping trip I’ve ever experienced and I am eternally grateful to Casanova Kevin and Lady Chicken Head Ratchet Ho for helping to make that happen.
Thanks, you two and good luck with all that.