Garrett and I were in bed when we heard raised voices followed by stomping and then screaming “Owwwwww! Mommy! Owwww! Mom! Dad!” coming from upstairs.
We found Bella fake sleeping and Mia sobbing and rocking back and forth.
Garrett: “What’s going on?”
Mia: “Bella! She’s not asleep- she just punched me!”
Garrett: “Bell- open your eyes. What just happened?”
Bella: “What? She was annoying me so I punched her in the stomach.”
Mia: “I wasn’t annoying her and it was my vagina.”
Bella: “You were annoying me and I tried to punch you in the stomach. It’s not my fault you moved and I hit your balls.”
Garrett: “For the hundredth time, girls don’t have balls. What was this all about?”
Mia: “She just got out of bed and punched me in the vagina for no reason!”
Bella: “Total lies. I said we should paint our room purple and she said we should paint it orange and I said ‘purple’ and she said ‘orange’ and after the 10th time I couldn’t take it anymore and I just snapped. I didn’t mean to punch her girl balls, though.”
Garrett: “Did you try ignoring her or just saying ‘I’m done talking about this’? It’s not okay to just punch her. And you guys don’t have girl balls- what the hell is that?”
Bella: “It worked. She’s not saying ‘orange’ anymore.”
Me: “What do you need to do to fix this, Bell?”
Bell: “Ugggh…I’m sorry I punched you, Mia. What can I do to make it better?”
Mia: “I don’t know…agree to painting our room orange?”
Bella: “Not happening. Are we done here?”
We talked for a few more minutes about the best way to handle annoyances and how not provoke our siblings.
As we headed out of their bedroom, Bella said to Mia: “I hope your girl balls aren’t sore tomorrow.”
Mia: “Thanks.They’ll be fine.Good night.”
Bella: “Good night.”
Can we just agree that the take away from all this is that, ultimately, she felt empathy for punching her sister’s girl balls?
I’d prefer to focus on the empathy rather than their extraordinarily messed up understanding of female anatomy.