There’s a hip new store in town selling clothing and home goods. The clothes are meant for people 20+ years younger than me and I know this because most of the t-shirts are emblazoned with things like “YOLO” (if you’re my age and up, you might need to Google that),”Time to Get Shitty” or pictures of kittens breathing fire like a dragon. The furniture and accessories are great, though, the inventory is ever-changing and I have tons of extra cash to burn (no I don’t) so I pop in there as often as possible.
The clothes are hung on rows and rows of long racks that are pushed together and extend from the front of the store to the back. The racks are tall so you can’t see the person on the other side, you can only see their feet.
I was in there a few days ago and heard this exchange between several 20-somethings:
Girl 1: “Are y’all going to Ashley’s party Saturday?”
Girl 2: “Ugh- No. Hate her.”
Girl 3: “What? Why? I think she’s sweet…”
Girl 2: “She’s a mess. Like, she’s so emotionally needy.”
Girl 1: “Ummmm…her Dad just died, you know?”
Girl 2: “Oh. I didn’t know. Maybe I’ll go.”
Girl 3: “You should. We should bring her some wine.”
Girl 1: “And this t-shirt!”
Girl 2: (reading it out loud): “‘Only the good die young’. HaHa! That’s kind of true!”
Girl 3: “But you’re a bitch so you’ll live forever.”
Girl 2: “Whatever. I just want to live long enough to move out of parent’s house and buy some bigger tits.”
And then they just laughed and laughed. I considered telling them that ‘Only the Good Die Young’ is a Billy Joel song and not some new, sad motto but they would’ve had no idea who Billy Joel is. I also wanted to tell her to leave her tits alone and that her parents probably couldn’t wait for her to move out either. I would’ve left feeling ancient and gutted, though. I did score an awesome new chair and table for a steal so my disappointment in today’s youngsters was totally worth it.
I’m wondering if I should maybe start shopping at Chico’s and hitting up the local Piccadilly for the ‘early bird special’. Join me, won’t you? We could listen to Billy Joel on our way there…