Garrett and I had a fun little disagreement/discussion last night. There was something clogging the disposal side of our kitchen sink. When the dishwasher was running, murky water, broccoli florets, pieces of a flour tortilla and some other stuff that was too far gone to identify (steak bones, maybe?) bubbled out of the disposal hole.
Garrett: “What the hell is all this? What’s with all this food stuff?”
Me: “What? It’s just food. It’s supposed to be in there. It’s a garbage disposal. That’s food that wasn’t eaten which makes it ‘garbage’.”
Garrett: “No, no, no- you can’t put just anything in there. And when you do throw stuff in there, you have to actually turn it on- you can’t just scrape it in there and forget about it.”
Me: “Right…like when you say that I have to clean the sweater-thick lint off the dryer screen filter thingy- like that?”
Garrett: “Yes! You have to clean off the lint! We’ll end up with a dryer fire. And you can’t put just anything in the disposal even if you do turn it on- it can’t chop up everything.”
Me: “I think it can. It just has to believe! That’s why it’s called a disposALL. Otherwise, it would be called a disposeSOME.”
Garrett: “Are you serious?”
Me: “So serious.”
Garrett: “No. Use the garbage can more and the disposal less.”
Me: “I think you mean the disposALL. Emphasis on ALL.”
Garrett: “Nope. That’s not what I mean at ALL.”
Me: “It’s clear to me that we are done here.”
And then he stuck his bare hand down into that slimy-ass, dark, disgusting, slimy-ass garbage disposeALL and showed me all of the stuff that was, in fact not disposed of. I looked but refused to see because I had checked out of that conversation long ago- once it became apparent that I need to use the garbage can more and the disposeSOME less. He’ll never know that, though, so shhhhhhh….my being proven wrong is just between you and me. Garrett thinks I’ve learned my lesson but I’ll never concede. Never!