Is it a Dress or a Shirt?

I was wasting time in a local consignment store before I had to go pick up the littlest kids from their preschool yesterday. I noticed these two elderly ladies (75+) shopping together. They were both dressed to the nines and had on heels and entirely too much blush. They were giggling a lot and seemed to be enjoying each other’s company.

One would hold up a dress or a skirt and the other would comment on it. “I think you should keep looking” or “That color is nice with your skin tone.” One of the ladies found a dress that she really liked and asked her friend’s opinion.

Friend: “It’s pretty…but is it a dress or a shirt?”

Other lady (holding the dress up to her shoulders): “I’m not sure. It’s a little short to be a dress isn’t it?”

Friend: “I don’t know…you could get by with it being a dress. You probably don’t want to wear it church. And you might not want to bend or lean over too much.”

Other lady (holding it out and looking at it again then holding it back up to her chest and checking the length against her thigh): “You’re probably right. Although, I don’t do much bending and leaning these days. I guess it won’t hurt just to try it on.”

Friend: “That’s right- try it on to be sure…you don’t want it to show your cooch and titties if you drop your keys.”

I was almost late picking up the kids because I was hoping to find out her decision before I left. She was moving at a glaciers pace, though, and I had to go. God, I hope she bought it.

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