Overheard in Retail, Part 1

A few gems overheard in retail/food service in the past few weeks:

One retail worker to another while folding sweaters: “My parents just don’t get it, you know? I NEED to smoke weed. It unlocks the creative part in my brain.”

Cashier complaining to another cashier about being scheduled to work on Easter Sunday: “It’s EASTER! We should be at home with our families or sleeping or anything but working.”

Retail worker stationed at the fitting rooms after being asked to retrieve a different size for a customer: “Uh, I can’t. It’s time for my break.”

Retail worker to another while stocking shoes: “Listen, I like him, he’s a good guy, he just has a little temper. I probably would too if I’d been in jail 3 times.”

Retail worker to another while stocking items in the toy department: “God, I hate kids.”

Manager to an employee: “Good job, Jen! You were only 20 minutes late today! Are you picking up on the sarcasm in my voice?”

Worker in plain clothes looking over her paycheck she’d just collected: “This is some bullshit right here.”

Worker speaking into a walkie-talkie: “Tell him to screw himself and that he can contact my attorney.”

Fast food worker to a manager-looking type: “No, sir, it’s not contagious. They just said to keep it covered.”

Keep your ears open, friends. It’s fascinating out there.


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