You Punch Them in the Stomach

Mia: “I know how to do CPR on a baby.”

Me: “Yeah? That’s good information to know. Tell me how…”

Mia: “You punch them in the stomach until whatever they’re choking on pops out.”

Me: “I’m not sure…I don’t think that’s how it works. It’s not a good idea to punch a baby in the stomach- or anywhere, really.”

Mia: “Mom. I took a class. I think I know how to save a baby.”

Me: “Mmmmm….nope. I think we should maybe review the technique. Maybe it just LOOKS like you’re punching them in the stomach.”

Mia: “No. You, like, punch them….right in the stomach. When you have another baby I’ll show you.”

Me: “Let’s hope you never have to try out your technique….because it’s wrong.”

Mia: “I took the class, Mom. Oh, wait….maybe you punch them in the back. I can’t remember but I’ll know what to do when it happens. Either way, you punch them.”

Me: “Promise me you’ll never punch a baby.”

Mia: “I won’t…unless they’re choking.”

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