Sarah and Bobby and Bobby’s Mama

I don’t know Sarah but her boyfriend, Bobby’s mother (Mother of Bobby/MOB), sat in the booth behind us at lunch yesterday. MOB thinks Sarah got pregnant to trap Bobby. Sarah and Bobby moved down to Tallahassee because Bobby was transferred…although, MOB thinks Sarah pressured Bobby to take the job to get him away from his family. Sarah ended up having a miscarriage (if she really WAS even ever pregnant, who knows? She’s a liar) but MOB thinks Bobby stayed with Sarah because he didn’t want to kick her when she was down. MOB has only been down to Florida once to visit. She knows Sarah doesn’t want her around because Sarah knows she’s onto her. Sarah’s a lousy housekeeper, too, y’all. She lets dishes pile up in the sink and MOB saw toothpaste splatter on the bathroom mirror. She’s confident Sarah could see it too, of course she could! Why doesn’t Sarah Windex it? That’s all she has to do! Bobby doesn’t need to clean house after working an 8-hour-day! And another thing, Sarah spends too much time on that damn internets…shopping and looking for new hairstyles and God-only-knows-what-else. She could have a whole other life- Bobby wouldn’t know…he’s a trusting boy, sometimes to a fault (Sarah). She’s spending all of Bobby’s hard earned money, too. Why, in just the two nights and three days that MOB was visiting, Sarah got two packages of clothes delivered. She was as giddy as a child on Christmas morning opening them boxes. Why would you order your clothes off the internets, anyway? You can’t try anything on first then you have to mail everything back if it don’t fit (and it probably won’t because Sarah’s put on a few pounds…she loves the Little Debbie cakes. She keeps stacks of them in the corner on the pantry-like a hoarder). MOB hopes Bobby wakes up and smells the coffee. He still has time- he and Sarah aren’t married yet. MOB doesn’t like Bobby living in sin- she knows they’re intimate because Sarah got herself pregnant (if she really even ever WAS pregnant, who knows? She’s a liar). MOB didn’t raise Bobby like that…you can bet your bottom dollar Sarah pressured him into sexual relations.

MOB and her church friends mentioned another friend who wasn’t able to join them due to an upset stomach.

MOB: “It’s just as well…she’s nothing but a gossip.”

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