God bless you, M’am

We decided to switch cable providers and I was given a two hour window of when the installer would be at our house. Since we were stuck at home and I was feeling particularly ambitious that day, I told the older kids that they could each have a friend over. We ended up with 11 kids in the house at one point (a couple of neighbor-kids stopped by too).

Once the installer got to the house, I walked him from room to room showing him where the televisions were. He had to step over toys, dogs, and was almost mowed down by a three kids who were racing on those giant balls that you sit on and bounce. It was a circus even by our standards. Within about ten minutes of being in the house, he finally asked:

Installer:”M’am- all these your kids?”

Me: “Oh, no. Six of them are ours. The extras are friends and neighbors.”

Installer: “Is it like this all the time? So busy?”

Me: “Not always THIS crazy but yeah, it’s usually pretty hoppin’ around here.”

Installer: “Well, God bless you M’am. You a better person than me ’cause I’ll tell you right now, I’d kill myself. Don’t get me wrong- I like kids…other people’s kids (laughs heartily)! Yep- it’s just me and my cats. Got about four of ’em that live in the house with me. Couple more that just hang around outside. I feed ’em. Can’t stand tuh thank uh hungry animals. Breaks my heart. I got most of muh inside cats toilet trained- how ’bout that? Guess that’s sumthin’ me and you both do…toilet train (laughs heartily)!”

Me: “Wow! Maybe you can give me some tips on potty training my three-year-old. He’s not overly interested in learning.”

Installer: “You could try some cat nip or tuna. That’s what I had to do.”

(Didn’t laugh heartily. Pretty sure he was serious)

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