The Funeral Singer

Several months ago, Mia’s hermit crab, Cutie, died. I never quite understood why she named him Cutie as hermit crabs are some of the least attractive of God’s creations. He lived a pretty long life for a hermit crab in captivity, a year, I think. Anyway, Mia was very upset when he died.
She carried his crunchy, lifeless body outside on a pillow of toilet paper. We buried him, made the Sign of the Cross over his body and stood in reverent silence for about 5 seconds. Just before we turned to walk back into the house, Mia suddenly stood at attention, saluted Cutie and launched into a rousing rendition of “You’re A Grand Old Flag”. Her send off was very sweet if not expected and bizarre.
Yesterday, a couple of the girls found a dead squirrel on the walkway just outside of our front door. And by ‘dead’ I mean he was decapitated and missing a few limbs. They came inside to let me know, speculate about what could/would have eaten the head, arms and one leg off of a squirrel (maybe a rabid raccoon?). The asked if they could bury him. They marked his grave with an Atlanta Gaslight flag from our yard. Hope we don’t get in trouble for moving it.
After the funeral, they came inside to let me know how it went…

Mia: “I wanted to sing him a song but I didn’t think he could hear
me.”
Bella: “Of course he can’t hear you, he doesn’t have a head.”

(Also, he is dead)

Later that day, Mia quietly went outside and sang that song from A Charlie Brown Christmas “Christmas Time is Here” at the edge of his new grave.

What I’m saying to y’all is that if you’re in need of a patriotic send off for a pet that may or may (probably) not have served in our armed forces OR… a seasonal song for a maimed outdoor critter, Mia’s your girl!

Mia’s accepted forms of payment are… pretty dresses, fancy shoes, and/or ‘not dead’ hermit crabs.

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